Hearts Project

-Julie-

Love is a joke. I felt like screaming again at my desk. My mom is not a lesbian!  Who the hell is that woman?!

“Something wrong?”

I turned my head. “Oh, it’s you.” My project partner sat on my bed. Clarie smiled at me like she knew a secret. I rolled my eyes.

“I’m being serious,” she said. I sighed.

“It’s this project.”

“Is that all?” Why does she do that? It didn’t help that she knew me so well.

“It’s your mom, isn’t it?”

I pressed my lips together as I nodded. “Yeah.” Clarie climbed off of my bed. I already knew what was coming. She put her arms around my shoulders.

“What’s wrong? Tell me really.”

I dropped my shoulders in her grip. “She’s not gay. Why is she with her? What about dad?” I wanted to scream again.

“You know your dad is dead, right?” Clarie asked.

“That’s not the point!” I breathed in.

“Then what is it?”

“Can we get back to our project?”

“Fine.”

“Thank you.” We got back to work.

Our project was about the psychology of love and attraction. This wasn’t my first choice. I’ll let you guess who picked it and me as a partner. Yeah. Clarie all the way. It felt like getting kicked in the stomach. Was this a joke to her?

I couldn’t even focus on the paper I was supposed to be working on. I threw down my pencil.

“Damn it!”

“Are you stuck on something?”

“No.”

“Why don’t you want your mom to be happy?”

I looked over at her. Really? We’re doing this now? She really wasn’t going to let it go. Fine. Might as well get it out there.

“She was married to him for years! Why her? Who does she think she is?!” Thinking about June pissed me off all over again. Usurer!

“She’s a usurer!”

Clarie gave me a curious look. I frowned.

“Don’t,” I said.

“What?” she asked.

“Try to talk me out of what I think. It’s not going to work this time.”

“Okay.” She shrugged.

I made a face at her. “That’s it?”

“Let me ask you something.” Her gaze made me gulp. Where was she going with this?

“What exactly is love?”

“Huh?”

“Do you believe love comes in different forms?”

“Yeah.” I shifted my eyes back and forth. “Why?”

“Does your mom love June?”

“Yes.” I wrinkled my nose.

“Are they in love?”

“What does this have to do with anything?”

“Are they?”

I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Yes!” I thought back to how happy my mom had been for the past five months. She used to look so sad and lonely all the time. She had only been with my dad for so long. Then June came along and perked Mom right up.

“But my mom is straight!” I said.

“Does it matter?” Clarie asked.

“Huh?” Before I knew it, she grabbed me by the hands. I noticed something off in Clarie’s gaze. I had never seen them look so intense before. Had her eyes always been that violet?

“There is someone I love,” she said. I opened my mouth, but Clarie wouldn’t let me speak.

“For years, I kept it to myself. It would’ve ruined things between us. She’d never love me the same way I would with her.”

“Wait… She?”

“Still, I can’t help how I love her.” Her cheeks reddened as she had a dreamy look in her eyes.

“She’s always been so stubborn. But she always tries to do what is right. She’s one of the smartest girls I know. I’ve admired her for the longest time. She doesn’t know how beautiful she is, but I do. I’ve watched her change and grow over the years. I’ve wanted to confess to her, but I don’t want to lose my best friend.” A little smile came across her face.

“I remember when I first met her. Blonde pigtails. Purple rubber bands in her braces. Sailor Moon backpack. Blue and pink jean skirt.”

It dawned on me who she was in love with as my jaw dropped. My face felt hot as my eyes widened.

“I... I had no clue!” I said.

“I know,” Clarie said. “You just weren’t into me. Your mom gets to have that great love again. I can’t.” I didn’t know what to say.